Born a son of California, Brando Conklin has spent the better part of his adult life searching for the alchemical ingredients which he hopes, if found, might result in the deliverance of worthwhile images and words.

Convinced that if only he could capture these secrets, then perhaps he would no longer have to glimpse the void of an empty screen.

But with the cry of "Eureka!" yet to be heard, the question must be begged: Why does this man write or shoot photos at all? Surely the arts have been mastered already - and by those far greater than he. Why not make a TikTok instead? Show some skin to an Only Fans account? I mean, seriously, can't this fella read the room?

Alas, the prognosis may be dire: that Mr. Conklin simply belongs to the genus Asinus, otherwise known as The Fool.

What a bummer.